The Cookies of Truth and Leaving

Another poem from the Davis Square T platform:

At 7am watching the cars on the bridge

Everybody's going to work. Well.

Not me. I'm not

Going to work

-James Moore

I had an attack of truth telling this week. If I had just been able to lie a little bit, to be dishonest, I'd have more money and a boyfriend right now. But no, periodicly I get fundamental attacks of truth that run through my system like a bad flu.

I blame the toll house chocolate chip cookies, really.

Monday I made a batch of them. And as I held the cookie dough in my hands, it occured to me that these were to be no ordinary chocolate chip pecan cookies, but chocolate chip pecan cookies of regret and remorse, chocolate chips of truth and leaving.

So I took the cookies I made over to James' house that very day, and told him that I thought he was super cool, and I couldn't believe how nice he was to me, but that it just wasn't going to work. We really have little in common other than a passionate love of books. And bibliophilia alone does not a stable dating couple make. "I'm sorry," I said. "Have some cookies."

He did. I left. James bought me dinner, made me a few breakfasts, and gave me sushi for the first time. He called me "girly" which I'm so very not, and was going to take me to New York, where I've never been. Maybe it was because he was so nice that the truth came bubbling right out of me. I always lose boyfriends when I tell the truth.

I got up early before going into the Allston Public Library Wednesday morning and made the rest of the dough into cookies, and took them to work with me. I got the Allston job just two weeks ago, when I wanted to quit Dunkin' Donuts. I've only worked two shifts, and I felt compelled to tell them I had been hired full time to Harvard starting the 18th.

"I'm sorry", I said. "I really enjoyed working here. Have some cookies." My co-workers took the cookies, and were hopefully not so very mad at me for all that start-job and end-job paperwork I generated for essentially 8 hours of shelving work. I was dismissed.

If I had just sat tight at Dunkin' Donuts 2 weeks longer than I did, I would have made about $100. Instead I ran off to the Allston Public Library, and after a day of interviewing, a day of paperwork, and two shifts, I think I'll net about $40. If I had lied by not telling them I had another job, I could have worked three more shifts and earned another $70, $80. But no, I was honest.

The chocolate chip cookies of truth are harsh and unforgiving. Beware them.