k&minboston

5/7/2002

If you'd like to read about Boston this week, you can click over to Kati's account of her visit . I'm not in Boston this week. I'm back South...

I'm Running Out of Options, But Maybe That's Okay

When my job ended May 31st and I paid the rent and the few bills I could, I realised I was out of options. Dead broke, no job and no concrete opportunity for one, I-owe-my- room-mate-$600, my family has no money, ass against the wall broke.

So I took all my frequent flyer miles and booked a ticket back South. Things haven't been going too well for my family lately, and I had friends who assured me that they would feed me if I came to visit.

I have the best friends the whole goddamn universe.

Sunday Underdown picked me up from the airport, then took me to Waffle House, where we had a huge meal for $10. Then I went to hang with Ron and Dinan a bit, and we hit Krispy Kreme and the movies - for about half of what it would cost in Boston.

And then I went to see my family.

Wednesday night was drinking with Cairy, Molly and Skeet; Thursday was a road trip to Knoxville with Kati to see Ford and Dustin. We all ate at IHOP and walked around K-town at night, in the dark warm steam of the Smoky Mountains. I could see all the stars, and Orion on the edge of the sky. It was the first time in ages I had seen the constellations, and I was amazed. My friends shrugged, and invited me deeper into the mountains where the whole sky would roll out for you like a big piece of velvet with a million bright lights strung all through it. There wasn't time to go any farther than Knoxville though.

And here, Friday morning in Dustin's apartment with Kati, I had a hard time waking up. I don't want this road trip to end. I'm really comfortable and surrounded by my friends who love me. And I suppose it's time to go over the mountains and into Georgia, and find my way home at last. I realise now that it's OK to start letting go of Boston. I've got two more month of living there, but the town started letting go of me a long time ago. The rotten jobs, the high cost of food, all the firends I would make that would just move away. I love living with Aral and I love our fabulous little apartment in Allston. But it's Okay to start letting all that go.

It's breaking my heart, but breaking up with something you really love is always tough. Boston and I have had our last argument. All that's left now is for me to find someplace else.

It's tough, but that's how it is. People will always love you more than cities will. So I'm going to move back near the stuff that's really important to me.